Let’s face it, sometimes sales calls can be downright boring. You are listening to someone drone on and on during a typical sales call as you drift in and out of consciousness.
But every once and a while, you get that sales call when the person on the other end has the funniest one-liners, often unbeknownst to themselves. They blurt things out and you have to stifle a laugh. With that in mind, we pulled together some of the best one-liners from the sales industry.
The first one comes from author Jarod Kintz, who is not lacking in confidence: “I design, manufacture, distribute, and sell elevator buttons. I specialize in the fourth floor. And I don’t mean to brag, but I’m such a good salesman that I could sell one of my fourth-floor elevator buttons to the owner of a three-story building.”
Sticking with the literary theme, here are two responses to “what is your favorite sales book”?
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"My favorite sales book? Harvey Mackay’s Swim with the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive. Why? Well, it’s the only sales book I ever read." -- Tristan Bishhop, Senior Director of Social Media Marketing at Informatica Corp.
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"My favorite sales book? The Bible. I would improve it. You know how we people are." --Kare Anderson, Forbes and Huffington Post Columnist.
Here are a few more gems that you might enjoy:
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"If we are smart, we make a lot of mistakes." -- Raman Frey, Speaker and Sales Expert. This is good advice for anyone, in any industry, as mistakes often lead to excellent learning experiences.
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"'Hey, here’s a gourd!' is not so different as, 'Hey, here’s enterprise sales software!' The language changes, but the humans are the same." -- Chris Penn, VP Marketing Technology at SHIFT Communications.
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"[Sales and marketing] have to start talking to each other. They've got to stop spilling each other’s beers." -- Ann Handley, MarketingProfs.
And, my personal favorite, Irreverent Sales Girl, speaker and sales expert summed things up nicely in these two wise quotes:
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"People like to buy things they need from people they like. And somewhere we screwed it all up by making it some kind of crazy thing. It's simply, 'What do you need? What are you trying to solve? Do I have it?' 'Yes.' 'Is it the right price?' 'Yes.' 'Next.'"
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"I think the biggest mistake that salespeople make today is that they try to pretend they’re not salespeople."
These two are not funny, per se, but they are nuggets of wisdom summed up in short quips. As someone who has worked in retail, I can certainly say that I can identify with both of these!
And, finally, InsideView gathered together what they considered the “10 Best Sales One-Liners of all Time.” I have pulled a few out to share with you.
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You can’t expect to take a fishing boat out and just watch the fish jump into the boat.
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You won’t get by on just personality and good intentions.
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It’s better to lose in the 1st round than in the 15th.
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If all you’ve got is a hammer in your hand, then everything’ll look like a nail.
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From a strategic perspective, this deal’s carved in butter.
So, these one-liners are a mixed bag of funny, sardonic, and wise. We hope that they added some levity to your week. Have a great one-liner to share? Please do.
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